Is a reward strategy really effective?
- rina73
- May 1, 2024
- 4 min read
How rewards charts can encourage healthy sleep habits
Bedtime battles
“Mum, just one more story!” Does this sound all too familiar? The bedtime routine could go on and on with requests of just one more story, an extra cuddle, a drink, or even multiple trips to the bathroom. Toddlers are experts at the art of stalling. Trust me, I have been there. Some years ago, the bedtime routine with my toddler would often take so long that it totally sucked the joy out of what should have been a time of deep connection and joy.
As much as we love reading to our children and showering them with cuddles and kisses, it can sometimes feel like we can never leave their room at bedtime with request upon request. Bedtime resistance from little ones can be a struggle for parents as it is so hard to refuse these requests. Not only does this mean that bedtime is delayed, which can inevitably result in insufficient sleep for your child, but it can be a tiresome process you too!
Bedtime battles tend to become a common occurrence when babies mature into little people with minds of their own. Usually, they occur due to toddlers beginning to assert their independence and test the boundaries, and sometimes due to anxieties such as being afraid of the dark and having nightmares. Some children fight sleep because they are simply not tired enough and have outgrown their current sleep schedule. Recognising why your little one may be battling bedtime will help to rectify the situation and nip it in the bud. It is then advisable to re-evaluate the evening routine and have a plan of action.
Putting into place some sleep rules, a consistent and predictable bedtime routine, and introducing a rewards chart can really help to encourage healthy sleep habits if followed through consistently. Remember that children thrive on predictability and routine!
Sleep Rules
I often suggest planning a family meeting with the whole family so that you can decide and agree on some sleep rules together for your little one. You can of course suggest rules that align best with your family, your little one’s temperament and sleep needs, and the bedtime battles you are facing. Some examples of this could be:
“We will read 2 bedtime stories and then I will tuck you into bed”.
“After that you will sleep in your bed during the night”.
You can also discuss the bedtime routine with your child during this meeting so that they know the boundaries, how many books, for example, will be read to them, and exactly what to expect. It is all about empowering your child to be responsible, understanding bedtime boundaries, and maintaining consistent expectations between you and them. This will help your little one stay in their own bed and reduce the time they take to sleep.
I always recommend talking to your child about the importance of sleep. You might want to talk around how sleeping will give them more energy to play, how the darkness will help them to grow, and how sleep will help them to stay strong and healthy and fight off any bugs. Keeping the language and context relatable to your child is most important. After all, we want our children to understand the benefits of sleep and create a heathy attitude around it.
Introduce the rewards system
Once you have done the groundwork and laid out some simple sleep rules for your little one to follow, you can sit down with them and talk about introducing a rewards chart into their day. Rewards charts can be a helpful method for combatting bedtime battles, and even overnight sleep if used correctly. They are really only going to be effective if your little one grasps the concept of reward and praise, realistically from the age of 2 upwards.
During your family meeting, you can decide with your little one what sort of rewards they can have if they follow the sleep rules. Do remember that you are negotiating with a toddler so it’s important that you keep language simple and communicate across effectively what a rewards chart is and how to use it. For example, “when you sleep in your bed on time, you can get a star, and once you have enough stars, you can pick a reward/treat”. Do emphasise the positive outcome of following the rewards chart, like earning stickers and getting fun treats for doing so.
Children respond well to praise so always celebrate the small wins and successes when your child earns a reward, and celebrate together. This encouragement can work wonders and keep up the momentum.
It can be really tempting to give in to your little one’s requests of extra stars and rewards, but it’s important to follow through with the method fairly and consistently, for it to work effectively.
Immediate and tiered rewards
I always say that it is best to start rewarding your child for following small and achievable rules first. This boosts their moral and keeps them interested. You can also create a system whereby they can strive for an even bigger reward once they achieve a certain number of stickers, like a toy or an activity for example.
Encourage your child to have fun with it
Having a rewards system in place can be a positive and fun experience for your little one. You can create a rewards chart together or print of my version, and allow your child to pick out their favourite rewards stickers to use for it. Letting your child select their rewards can give them a sense of control and empowerment.
You can get the whole family involved, and really make a song and dance for the small and big wins. Your little one will love the praise, encouragement and treats along the way, and hopefully it will help to eliminate the dreaded bedtime battles.
