Sleep Training: The Chair Method

The chair method is a gentle sleep training technique that can help little ones learn to fall asleep independently. If you are looking to make some changes and guide your child towards independent sleep, let me introduce the chair method, explain who it’s best suited for, and how to implement it successfully.

What is the chair method

The chair method is a gentle sleep training technique where you phase out your presence very gradually until your little one can fall asleep on their own. Essentially, you put your child into their cot or bed, and sit on a chair or cushion close by and offer any physical or verbal support they would need in order to fall asleep in their sleep space. And then gradually move your chair further and further away every few days until you’re out of their bedroom.

Who is the chair method best suited for?

It is suitable for little one’s aged 6 months and over, and can even work well for toddlers and young children.

It is ideal for little ones who are anxious or experiencing separation anxiety as this approach allows you to be present whilst they fall asleep initially, gradually reducing your presence over time. The beauty of this approach is that it can be individualised and carried out at a pace that suits your child’s temperament and your parenting style.

However, the chair method might not be effective for children who may get distracted and distressed whilst trying to settle to sleep in your presence.

The advantage of this sleep training method is that it can involve less crying compared to other approaches such as timed checks and cry it out. However, as it is a gradual approach, it may take more time to see results, usually 2 to 4 weeks on average.

How to implement the chair method

If you feel like the chair method aligns with your parenting style and little one’s personality, let me explain exactly how to put it into practice step by step.

It is important to begin with the 4 B’s:

·       Bath time

·       Bottle or breast if you have a younger one

·       Book

·       Bedtime

I recommend placing a chair or a cushion for you right by your little one’s cot or bed. After reading to your child, offer a lovely bedtime cuddle and wish them goodnight. Following on from this, you can place them into their sleep space wide awake and take a seat on the chair placed next to them.

Observe your child for a few moments once they are in the cot. If they seem calm or playful, it is fine to turn away slightly and possibly even close your eyes.

If your little one is upset, you could lay your hand on the mattress next to them, and offer some gentle shushes to calm them. Patting them or holding their hand in this early stage is also perfectly fine. Some little ones will be comforted and calmed by your physical and verbal support whilst others might find it more unsettling, so it is best to follow their cues on this.

It can be helpful to look away or close your eyes where possible whilst your little one attempts to settle to sleep. Keeping the environment calm and quiet is important.

If your little one is extremely upset, reassuring and supporting them with some shushing and physical support can help, but I would encourage you to try and support and calm them whilst they remain in their cot. Picking them up can be confusing for them as they may assume they are not going back into the cot or even fall asleep in your arms if they are exhausted.

After some time, your little one will settle to sleep. Once they are asleep, staying in their room for 10 minutes before leaving is best.

Repeating this process for a few nights until your child gets used to falling asleep with you sat next to them is key. Where possible, you can try and minimise the physical support during this time. The occasional shushing and verbal reassurance like saying ‘it’s sleepy time and mummy is here’, is perfect.

After a few nights, you can move your chair a little further away from the cot and repeat the process, only offering verbal reassurances if your little once is upset. In the instance that your little one is calm, you absolutely can just sit quietly and observe.

Every few days, you can move the chair further and further away from the cot, closer to the door, and then outside of your little one’s room. Once you reach this point, and your chair is outside the bedroom, you can still offer verbal reassurances from outside the door if your child is upset and needs support.

With these steps, you will get to a point where you can wish your little one goodnight, tuck them into bed and leave the room. Of course, as I mentioned earlier, you can absolutely go at your little one’s pace, taking things slower if needed, or faster if they are adjusting well. Please do repeat the method for any night waking’s that your child may have. After three days, you can also begin to implement this approach for your little one’ naps.

Top tips for success

Always set up your chair on cushion beforehand so that you’re ready to get started as soon as you have tucked your little one into their cot.

Please do remember, that in the early stages, it can take time for your child to fall asleep using this new method, so do all the things you need to prepare yourself too. This might involve eating something, changing into your pyjamas and just getting comfortable in case you are sat on the chair for a while.

Whilst you are sat on the chair, it is important to avoid looking at your phone or reading, as you want to keep the environment as quiet and non-stimulating as possible for your little one. You really just want to either keep your eyes closed or look away.

This gentle technique can be effective at getting your little one to sleep independently, but it is important to stay committed and consistent to see results. Establishing a consistent bedtime, wake-up time, and nap schedule as well as having a regular bedtime routine can definitely help. This can improve sleep as it regulates the internal body clock by sending signals to the mind and body that it is time to wind down and sleep.

So there you have it, my step by step guide to the chair method, which can have your little one falling asleep in their sleep space independently. Whether you are wanting to move away from co sleeping, or wanting your little one to settle independently to sleep, or you’re noticing that supporting them to sleep multiple times during the night is no longer sustainable for you, this could be a good option.

If you want these steps broken down and customised to your little one’s individual needs, and want support every step of the way to ensure success, this is where I can help. Please do get in touch to find out more.

Speak soon

Rina x